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Fuck Juggalos:

Written By: Joe
Date Written: 05.09.05
Last Updated: 12.13.05

*Updates marked with asterisks.

Gen-er-al-i-za-tion (jen-er-al-iz-zay-shun)

     1. The act or an instance of generalizing.

     2. A principle, statement, or idea having general application.

     3. All Juggalos are total smelly fucking asshat dipshit motherfuckers.

Now, I'm not one to generalize normally, but I assure you that is true. Always.

I know, I know, I'm a "hater" now huh? Well you know what? Juggalos are hateful dipshits who say "don't judge me" despite that they openly participate in a group, family or label. Whichever you prefer. It's all the same anyway. If these dipshits realize how fucking stupid they look, sound and act, perhaps they'd cut the bullshit all together and kill themselves because being a juggalo is unforgivable. Of course I'm taking this from the idea that you are in fact, a smelly, asshole, dumbass, women raping, racist Juggalo. (I know this is redundant, but some of our Eye See Pee [wink, wink] fans can't do simple math).

I can't put this any more clear: All Juggalos and Juggalettes make me wish there was a hell. I can't even wish death on these fuckers. They swell up like fucking apes and try to fight you if you've entered their pissing grounds. (Thank you Michael Douglas in Falling Down). Now to go into the bullshit of their logic, or as I call it Juggalogic.

I can't get enough of it when this morons say "don't be hatin" over and over and over again. That and "don't judge me". You fuckheads! Then they go around hating non-juggalos for just that reason. Oh yeah, if they're not "family" then they are automatically assholes. Oh yeah, that isn't judging at all is it? I can honestly say I'd die before becoming one of these slack-jawed tools of clown rappers. That just sounds stupid as fuck. I think I need to shower after writing this much on the subject of pure bullshit.

Clearly, there is no god.

Until I found out about ICP or any of those other dipshits on "Psychopathic Records" I was a relatively happy person. Listen assholes, you aren' t underground, you aren't original, and you most of all aren't edgy. Fuck Detroit and all the bullshit it has created with the rap scene. Whoa! I'm so shocked my your edgy lyrics and messages about "my momma" I think this is groundbreaking enough to become a follower of your dipshit crusades.

Oh yes, I'm the terrible person for not doing drugs, not treating women like objects, and most of all not drinking shitty, $6 soda that is sold at trendy clothing stores. By the way, they started carrying Faygo at Big Lots near where I live and let me tell you, It doesn't have dick on Big K. There is a reason why Faygo didn't want to be associated with ICP and any other Juggalo morons.

*Some of the most asinine shit I've heard ever is that ICP actually has a 'deeper meaning' as if it were some sort of beautiful poetry. Yes, I can see it now, they actually mean that the world is a tranquil place after all and that we should live in harmony with each other in the "Dark Carnival for lif". That's exactly the message I get when they say that they'll "stir my drink with their dick".

I've honestly gotta say, I have never, ever, even close to heard anything as fucking moronic as their lyrics. I mean, there is nothing to them that doesn't make my head feel like it's going to explode from their stupidity. Some things are just not meant to be... world peace perhaps... maybe even discovering life on other planets... but ICP... no. Fuck no. Never.

Guess what assholes? You smell like shit, you sound like shit, you look like shit and you act like shit. So you can take all your family and shove it up your fucking ass. If any of you have any problems with the "haters" perhaps you should fight them one on one, not 1 on 12 like you pansys like to do—and have something even close to diginty. Fucking pathetic.

News flash - ATTENTION JUGGALOS: All those bottles filled with yummy looking colors under the sink are actually Faygo! Drink up!

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